Have you ever wondered what three pounds of Jelly Bellys looks like if you drop the container on the kitchen floor? Me neither. But trust me, three pounds is a lot of beans.
Most people I know adhere to some form of the Five Second Rule: you know, if you drop food on the floor, but you pick it up within five seconds, it's still good. Around here, we generally follow this rule more of necessity than by choice. If you drop food on the floor and don't pick it up within five seconds, a dog will get it, and the choice is no longer yours. Sophie is enjoying the beans I missed under the edge of the cabinets.
So here's the dilemma.
The beans that are still in the container never touched the floor. They are, by any standard, uncontaminated, and they pose no moral or dietary question. The small pile of beans on the right is clearly contaminated. These are the beans I fished out from under the refrigerator, or behind the door, or the ones that had an unacceptable amount of visible dog hair stuck to them. They are already in the trash.
But the pile on the left is causing me some trouble. These are the beans I picked up off the middle of the floor (which happened to be freshly vacuumed, but not mopped), away from the edges of the cabinets and refrigerator, where all things hairy and disgusting tend to accumulate. I can attest to the fact that they were not licked by the dogs, because they were within my sight at all times from the moment they hit the floor until the moment I scooped them up and placed them on the counter. They do not have any visible dog hair or other identifiable ickiness on them. To truly understand my dilemma, you must also understand that I love Jelly Bellys with an unreasonable passion, and that they are not cheap, as candy goes. Also, this was a brand new four pound container (oh, yeah, like you've never downed an entire package of Oreos at one sitting), and only about a pound now remains in the container.
So what do you think? Does the five second rule apply, or have I revealed a truly alarming lack of gustatory discretion and personal hygiene?