Oh, Knitting Goddess, sacred ruler of my world, have I done something to offend thee? Have I not swatched faithfully? Have I not given due attention to needle size and stitch gauge? And if I have not always washed my swatches, have I not offered sincere penitence when my projects instantly doubled in size upon hitting water?
Surely my attention to detail must have been pleasing in your eyes: the care with which I have formed each stitch, tinking back to fix every error, every snagged ply? Surely you have noted the tiny needles, the cobweb weight, the endless yarnovers? Surely my devotion to you has not gone unnoticed?
Why, oh why have you forsaken me? Are you unaware of my distress? Of my weariness? Of my impending deadline? I beg of you, oh Knitting Goddess, help me in my hour of need!
I have 15 rows left to go on Icarus and 24 days to do them. No problem, right?
Does this #$%&!*% look like enough yarn for 15 more 500+ stitch rows?!
I didn't think so.