Friday, July 6, 2007

Busted...and Not Busted

My husband came downstairs this morning while I was paying bills. He looked a bit miffed. "What's the matter?" I asked.
"I just figured out how you played me."
"Huh?" I responded, looking perfectly innocent, because, naturally, I never play him.
"I'm talking about the attic. I just figured out why you really wanted that door," he elaborated. He doesn't usually read my blog, so I continued to look innocent. "I looked in that closet where you keep your yarn. It's completely full." I just stared at him blankly. "There is no more room for yarn in the closet. That's why you wanted to get into the attic." He looked triumphant. I just grinned foolishly.
Busted.

In other news, here's Prosperous.


Isn't it lovely? I continue to love the yarn and the pattern. Last night, I finished the front shaping and, following the directions, tried it on to determine how long to make the straps. I made this with a 32 inch chest, because the designer recommended 4 inches of negative ease, and I have a 36 inch chest. I was a little surprised, then, that it was so loose around the chest. I was expecting clingy. I got drapey. I took it off and checked the measurements. 32 inches. I checked my gauge. 19 stitches to four inches, exactly as it should be. I checked the pattern. Yep--four inches of negative ease recommended. I looked at the work in progress expectantly for a little while, waiting for it to tell me why it was so loose. Finally, out of ideas, I decided to measure my bust. Not that I thought that would tell me anything. I am a 36. I've been a 36 for twenty years. My bras are all 36's. I always knit for a 36 inch bust. I got out my tape measure and wrapped it around my chest. Over my shirt. Over my (lightly padded) bra. Just as I thought...34 inches. Wait. I must have measured wrong. Re-wrap, checking the position of the tape. 34 inches. Get my glasses, because I must be reading this wrong. 34 inches.

34 inches. I am 5'11". 34 inches? That's ridiculous! Where did the other two inches go? Did they disappear while I was sleeping? Are they on vacation in Mexico? I looked in the mirror. I wrapped the tape measure around my hips. Nope. They haven't left. They've just moved south. Damn.

14 comments:

Kristin said...

I am sorry about the southern migration. Prosperous looks awesome, you are a fast knitter.

Certainly your husband has a closet full of some kind of collection hidden somewhere.

sophanne said...

Prosperous looks awesome!

How funny to get "busted and not." I hate it when they get clever like that. You can fool all of the people some of the time...

Where in blazes did the ta ta's go? (I've never really called them that but it just made me laugh.)

Time for the chant- we must, we must...

Thanks for your words on today's post. I'd be so interested in what things 4 yr old had to say- maybe sometime when you're lacking post ideas?

Bea said...

Prosperous looks great! Sorry about the migrating 2 inches, after breastfeeding lil' Robby I totally feel your pain.

Sarah said...

Preposterous! Get a spanx, push it all back where it should be and wear prosperous proudly. It is a lovely knit. I am very sad to say that by your knitting pattern, I would have to make a 28" chest, uggh!

As for what Bea said, I think it is just plain old preganancy that doesn't, a-hem, uphold the breasts. They react the same way the belly does post delivery. Again, uggh!

Romi said...

It looks gorgeous! :)

It's good to marry a person your equal in intellect; sometimes, though, there *are* consequences. ;)

Quail Hill Knits said...

Say no more about the book. It shall be yours. Send me your address.

kmkat said...

Your *migration south* reminded me of a comment I heard at my 20-year h.s. reunion: Everybody looks pretty much the same, just... lower.

Karen said...

I'll have to take my measurements again, later...after more coffee. Or maybe tonight, after beer. I bet mine moved to my waist, because that keeps getting bigger and bigger.

Prosperous really does look lovely. Are you going to leave it as is?

Lydee said...

It brings to mind an older pop song(where have all the cowboys gone):
"Where have all the Ta-Ta's gone? Oooooo"

uberstrickenfrau said...

I loved the bumper sticker comment you left on sophanne! Classic!Some times I feel my own"girls" are so un-perky I could almost tuck them into my waist band!

uberstrickenfrau said...

Oh, yeah, I like the front of the sweater, I did a sock pattern very simular to that.

diana said...

Prosperous is gorgeous but too bad about the ease (well, meaning the migration). Damn. How does it look a little drapey?

Sharon said...

Lovely knitting! & thank you for the comment--that was most reassuring. I'm staying positive.

The_Add_Knitter said...

Properous is amazing...and way to play your man!;)