Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Tough Week

Just...tough. Every day this week, something has gone wrong at work, either personally or professionally. Most of it is not my fault, but I'm exhausted from the stress of dealing with it. I've mentioned here before that I am "volunteering" because the agency I am working for has had a hiring freeze in place for the past two years. Even in normal economic times, the only way in is to start as a student worker or the equivalent, and work for a year or so before applying for a real job. Right now, though, they aren't even hiring people for those positions. To fill the ranks, they are relying on "volunteer attorneys." Which is just what it sounds like: all the work and responsibility, none of the pay. Obviously, not many people can afford to do this. The idea is, those who stick it out will have a much better chance of getting hired when the agency does finally start hiring again. I know; it sound ridiculous. But there are reasons it makes sense for me to do this.

In my position, I am pretty much in the middle of a very extended job interview, so I constantly feel like I'm under a microscope. Whenever something happens around me that draws possible negative attention, I am hyper aware that I am constantly being assessed, and that whatever conclusions my supervisors draw may affect my ability to eventually get hired. I am much more vulnerable than someone who already has a job, because things too minor to ever get anyone fired are more than sufficient to keep me from being hired. Which makes my work life just a weeeee bit stressful.

I'm hoping to post actual knitting content this weekend, once I get a chance to get some pictures and this stress headache has subsided to a dull roar. Until then...

12 comments:

sophanne said...

You should be allowed to love what you do.

I don't know the circumstances of you recent shift in life situation. I'm just saying as your friend you should be finding a way to do what you love and if this is a state of constant distress, wonder if it's really worth it.

And now I will mind my own business.

Sue said...

If this is truly what you want...if it's your heart's desire...then hang in there. If not, life is way too short for all the stress.

I enjoy reading your blog and miss you.

Good Thoughts,
Sue

At Home Mommy Knits said...

I'm so sorry things have been stressful for you...doesn't sound fun. I hope your week ends on a more positive note and you have a realtively relaxing weekend!!

Anonymous said...

Is this legal? Sounds like slave labor to me.
Julie in San Diego, too.

Kristen said...

Good grief, how stressful. I heard young, first time workers were doing some "volunteering", but had no idea that experienced people were doing this too, and being under such scrutiny! I hope this works out the best for you but in the meantime thank goodness for knitting.

Knitcoach said...

It absolutely sounds a nightmare. You have my sympathies and internet hugs.

melissaknits said...

Makes perfect sense to me. Stressful, but sensical. Hang in!

Susanne said...

Sorry to hear about the pressure put upon you. I hope you can de-stress over the weekends. And don't forget to do the things you love to do.

Suzanne said...

Just think, you're getting all this experience with stress management! Once you're getting paid it'll be a piece of cake and you will never have to stress again! Everything will be under control.

I say you move up here. Our state is doing great economically and we are always looking for good prosecutors. And the added bonus is that you can knit and wear wool all year!

Life's a Stitch said...

As an exec director of an agency that offers a community law office, this sounds extreme. As long as they get people who will do this, it will continue. Seems unreasonable. Deep breath and seriously re-evaluate...

Renee said...

Hopefully that week was one of few or no more ~ and future weeks improve. I know the stress of working without pay for a similar reason... keep trudging along and look for the rays of sunshine...

Haley said...

That sounds SO stressful. I wish you the best. I know that your good is so good that they will ignore the little bad things that may happen.