The Antidote to Lace Knitting

A few days ago I saw this and fell completely and hopelessly in lust. My palms started to sweat and my heartbeat sped up and I knew I wouldn't be able to rest until I cast on for a Giant Granny Square of my very own. I know it's crochet; I don't care. I don't have anything against crochet, except that it's not knitting. I learned how to crochet years before I learned to knit, if by "learned" you understand that I mean I figured out how to make something resembling a square piece of fabric out of a stringy, plastic-y substance that went by the name "yarn" back in the 1970's. Come to think of it, I believe the original granny square blankets were often made out of this same substance.

But I love the idea of a single, giant granny square crocheted from gorgeous, chunky Noro yarn. I almost immediately located this and deemed it perfect for the purpose:


See how well the colors work in my family room?

So I pulled up the instructions on my computer and cast on.

Within the first few moments, I discovered that I do not know how to crochet. Whatever the thing is that I learned to do all those many years ago, it was not at all what the instructions told me to do now. It took me an embarrassingly long time to get the hang of making a simple granny square. I stopped counting after the sixth time I ripped back to the beginning.

Eventually, though, I got it working, and was reminded how delightful instant gratification really is:

This is one skein of Noro Iro, and it's a little more than a foot square. I have nine more skeins, so this should end up being a decently-sized throw for the family room sofa. Or...um...maybe my bedroom.