Happy Birthday to Me!

Thank you all for the compliments about my new hair! I am really enjoying it, although the first night, I washed my hair and went to bed with it wet (as I've always done), and woke up with a head full of Shirley Temple ringlets. Turns out I have curly hair. Who knew? I haven't quite figured out the blow-drying thing, so I have yet to get it looking much like the stylist did, but it still looks pretty good, as long as I manage to straighten out some of the curl.

There seems to be a rash of birthdays around blogland lately, at least among the blogs I read. Today is mine. Last night, the darling husband had a dinner at our house for me. (The dear man worked his handsome butt off, too. I think he spent the entire day in the kitchen--after coaching Pee Wee football at 8:00 am.) My parents came, and our oldest and his girlfriend drove down from college, and some friends also joined us. The meal was lovely and the company was fabulous--and my sofas arrived before the guests! They turned out exactly as I had pictured and I'm very happy with them. (Of course I didn't let anyone sit on them, so we don't know whether they're still as comfortable as they used to be.) But the real news is my husband's gift to me. The spinning wheel that I bought last month was supposed to be my birthday present, so I wasn't expecting anything; the wheel was a great gift. But hubby (who's really racking up those bonus points lately), surprised me with these:

For you non-spinners, these are really, really cool. That odd looking thing with the arms is called a Woolee Winder. The other things are bobbins for the Woolee Winder. The WW, as I'm going to call it, replaces the flyer on a spinning wheel. Why? Well, look at the flyer.

See those little hooks? Those little hooks guide the yarn onto the bobbin. You start by looping the yarn onto the first hook. Then, as each section of the bobbin fills with yarn, you have to stop and move the yarn to the next hook, then resume spinning. This may not seem like a big deal, but as you get faster at spinning, and especially when you're plying (which goes much faster and takes up more space per yard on the bobbin), it starts to get pretty annoying to keep stopping to move the yarn. Each time you stop, you have to let go of the fiber, which untwists a little and changes your tension and thickness and generally makes it harder to get a nice, smooth, even yarn.

Enter the WW. See how there's only one hook and some gears? Those gears cause the hook to move from side to side along the bobbin, all by itself. This means the yarn winds onto the bobbin back and forth, without the spinner ever having to stop and move the yarn from one hook to another. I've been coveting one of these for a while--actually, since I got the wheel and figured out how it worked (and that the hook thing was kind of a pain). But they're not really necessary, and they're expensive. In fact, I think the WW and the bobbins--the WW requires its own, special bobbins, because they have to have gears on the ends to work--cost about as much as the wheel. So this was a little luxury that I was never expecting to own.

But what makes it not merely a great gift but a truly spectacular one is the fact that my husband, who is iffy on the whole subject of my little fiber obsession, actually knew what a Woolee Winder was, and that I wanted one! I did not ask for this item. I think I mentioned that such a thing exists, but I certainly didn't point him in the right direction. And folks--he got the right model for my wheel, which means he also knows what type of wheel I have! This is way above and beyond the call of husbandly duty, even for my husband, who raises the whole husband thing to something of an art form. It even beats the ball winder and swift he got me for Christmas last year.

The Icarus Countdown: 1 school meeting+1 music lesson+1 football game+ 1 karate class=7 rows. 29 days and 24 rows left to go!

"Are You Yarnhog?"

I had a bizarre "world's collide" sort of experience today. I was getting my hair cut and talking to the stylist about knitting. (She asked. We go to the same chiropractor, and she had seen me working on my mom's Christmas sweater last year. I did not accost a perfectly innocent woman, doing her job, and try to convert her to the wonderful world of yarn. I swear.)

Anyway, I had just gotten to the part about Icarus (she asked!), when the woman in the chair next to me exclaimed, "Are you Yarnhog?!" Shocked, I turned to look at her, and stammered something like, "Well, yes!" The stylists thought we had both gone crazy, I'm sure. We did try to explain, but you know how that goes. It turns out, the woman in the next chair was the blogless Patrice, who has commented here before, and probably on many of your blogs as well. She lives only a few miles from me, and obviously, we go to the same hair salon!

I took it as a good omen for what followed. Look in my sidebar at that picture of me at age 12. Can't see it too well? Here:



Now this is me at...well, let's just say 10 days ago.

Look specifically at the hair. Notice how little difference there is in the style? Okay, the not-style? That is because I have had my hair in pretty much some variation of long and straight (straight-ish--it tends to frizz) for my entire life--except for that Annie Lennox crew-cut incident in high school, and the less said about that, the better. Today, I did this:


Do you know how hard it is to take a decent picture of your own head? Oh, yeah. You're bloggers. Of course you do. The picture above was taken in the mirror. I took this one with the timer, and I would probably look more like this to you, if you saw me in person:

I did not mention to my husband, who loves long hair and has never seen me with anything else, that I was planning to get it cut. I did give him a warning phone call before I came home. He has no history of heart trouble, but you never know. When I walked in, he took one look, grinned like a boy with his first air rifle, and exclaimed, "Wow, you're a total hottie! You should have done that a long time ago!" He had to run off to meet a client before I could thank him properly, but I think he deserves extra husband points for that response.

The Icarus countdown: 31 days, 31 rows. I was shampooing carpets. Cut me some slack. I did get two more skeins of two-ply spun. Does that count?

Contest Winners!

I randomly picked the comment numbers 3, 14, and 27 for my winners (after throwing out duplicate comments or multiples from the same person). This means the lucky winners are Maureen of 5 and a Beagle , The ADD Knitter, and Kathleen of Quail Hill Knits! Please email me your addresses and I will send out your sock yarn. If you want to tell me your color preference(s), I will honor them, if possible. My email address is: suzanne@vetalaw.com.

As for my knitting spot, which was the inspiration for this contest, it is currently in a state of distressing disarray. My sofas have been picked up and taken away to be fitted for their new outfits, and the rest of the furniture is currently residing in the kitchen while the carpet dries from its shampooing. The upholstery shop promised to get the sofas back to me this week, but since they were only picked up on Monday, I'm not holding out high hopes. This is a bit of a problem, since we have guests for the weekend and are having a dinner party here on Saturday, all of which will be challenging with no furniture. I don't deal especially well with disorder, but I suppose I'll survive.

There hasn't been much interesting knitting or spinning going on around here, as I have been busy working on some house projects. The last two days have been devoted to installing, trimming out, and painting a new entry door from the garage to the house. The old door frame was literally falling apart, and was so warped that the kids could no longer open the door. This would be the door they run in and out of at least a hundred times a day, so this was no small inconvenience for mom-the-doorman. The new door is lovely and works perfectly.

The old door has been relegated to the garage, to await demolition. It was even uglier when it was hanging in the house.


Oh, and the Icarus countdown? 32 days and 31 rows to go!

Fifth Time's the Charm

I finally managed to spin the yarn I was hoping for to make my sweater. Thank you all for your comments on my efforts. I'm sure if I were sensible I would start with a smaller project, but I tend to be a bit grandiose in my goals, and it usually works for me.

To tell you the truth, I'm not sure whether this is what I originally pictured, or just what I've decided I can manage, but either way I'm pleased with the colors and texture. I'm planning a simple, boxy sort of pullover that will highlight the yarn rather than the pattern. I imagine a sort of throw-it-on-with-jeans, rustic kind of thing, so perfection is not really important for this project. I did promise the single skein of three-ply to my little fiberhead (my seven-year-old son), so I'll be using all two-ply, which is mostly the same gauge.

In other news, look!

I have finally moved beyond the endless yarn-overs and into the much more interesting edging of Icarus. For those who are counting, I'm down to 38 rows. Desperation seems to have added speed to my fingers, and I am, as suggested, "knitting like the wind." I may even have found a new favorite knitting spot. My ten-year-old had a music lesson Saturday morning, and as it was raining (for the first time in 151 days), I sat in the car with a good CD and knitted while the rain pattered on the roof. It was 45 minutes of utter bliss. Unfortunately, it only rains here once in a blue moon, and the likelihood of it happening at a time when I am waiting in the car is practically nil, so I won't be giving up my butt groove anytime soon.

And just in case you're wondering, this is what Icarus is draped over:

Check out the cool light-and-shadow shot:

Three of These Things Belong Together...

Does anyone else remember the matching game from Sesame Street where they would sing the song "Three of these things belong together/ three of these things are kind of the same/ but one of these things is doing its own thing/now it's time to play our game..."? I have wasted a lot of brain space on random memories and am now paying the price. [Following is a spinning post. Those interested in only the post-yarn-production aspects of knitting may feel free to move along, with no hard feelings.]

Here's my version of the game:







Which of these yarns is not like the others?

Okay, okay. No fair. It's clearly a trick question, since none of them is really like the others. I'm just not that good at spinning yet. These four skeins represent my four attempts at designing a yarn for my First Handspun Sweater, using three different shades of undyed BFL (which is a type of wool that I cannot spell, and so I am using the abbreviation, which has the added advantage of making me look like a cool insider with superior fiber knowledge. I call it this in person, too, since I also do not know how to pronounce the real name. Shhhh.)

The first skein was two-ply with random color changes in each ply. It was a little finer than the worsted weight I was going for, and I wasn't sure about the random color changes, so for the second skein, I spun each ply as a single color, a little thicker, and then made three-ply. Too thick, and I don't like the evenness of the colors. Very barber pole. Also, I think I plied a bit too tightly (if that's the right word) and the yarn is a little stiff.

For the third attempt, I decided to go back to two-ply, spin the singles a little thicker than for skein one, and make regular color changes for each ply, but ply them so the colors did not line up so that I would get subtle stripes. It's okay, but the color changes are still too regular. So for skein four, I went back to the random color changes and two-ply construction I did for skein one. It's okay, but some of the singles became a little puffy in the final wash. I must have spun them a little too thick. Sigh. Just call me Goldilocks.

Would it violate some spinning or knitting rule for me to just use all of them and call the finished result "handcrafted"?

Knitting Math

Last night, I sat down with Icarus and a bad movie and settled in for a good, long knit. For those who are keeping track, the bridal shower is scheduled for October 27. This is just over five weeks from now. I've been working on Icarus for roughly three months now (or is is four?). I have used up half my yarn. This suggests that I am a little behind.

How behind? Well, last night, as I was yarn-overing all over the place, I absently tried to figure it out. I knitted for three hours. I finished--are you ready for this?--seven rows. Super slow mo: seeeeevvvvveeeennnn rrrrooooowwwws. Seven. In three hours.

I just started Chart 2. Yes, you read that right. This is terribly, terribly misleading. The pattern starts with Chart 1 (surprising, huh?), and Chart 1 is only 42 rows. You might think this means you work 42 rows and you are done. Get ready to be sorely disappointed. If you actually read the directions, you will see that you then repeat Chart 1 five more times. And then you repeat most of it a sixth time, just for good measure. It has taken me more than three months to finish *&!^%$# Chart 1. But I won't belabor the point.

So last night, I started Chart 2, and I was happy. There are only 14 rows in Chart 2, and as far as I can tell, I only have to work them once. This is a huge improvement. But then there's Chart 3, still manageable at 16 rows with no repeats. And Chart 4, which is 24 rows, but still no repeats. And then there are just 4 rows of edging and it's done!

But wait. Let's just add this up, shall we? I'm on row 6 of Chart 2. This means I have 8 more rows of Chart 2, plus 16 rows of Chart 3, plus 24 rows of Chart 4, plus 4 rows of edging. Here's where the math comes in. If my addition is correct (and this is by no means certain), I have 52 rows left before I'm done. Last night, I worked 7 rows (of 375 stitches each) in 3 hours. This means it took me about (calculators, please) 25.71 minutes per row. If we multiply this by the 52 more rows I have to do, it will take me 1337.14 minutes, or about 22.3 hours.

Is the problem becoming clear? I have to knit--on Icarus alone--for more than 22 hours in the next five weeks. And that's not all. These calculations are based on a stitch count of 375 stitches per row. But alas, in its evil, evil way, Icarus gets longer with each row. By the time I drag my exhausted, sobbing self across the finish line and prepare to bind off (a prospect that strikes fear into my heart all by itself), there will be 523 stitches in each row. I'm not even sure how to calculate how this will affect my time, but I'm pretty damned sure it's not going to make it any less.

I hate math.

The Harlot Rocks!

Wow. I am completely overwhelmed by the number of responses to my little contest, and by the vast array of different knitting spots. I've checked out all the spots, and I think I've responded to everyone with a blog or email address. For those who may not know, Blogger does not provide me with your email address automatically, so I generally cannot respond via email. If you did not hear from me, please don't be offended--it is not personal, I just couldn't find a way to contact you. Thank you all for playing along. I've really enjoyed seeing all the different places we hang out and do this thing we do. I'm still getting responses, so I'm going to give the contest a few more days before I draw for the lucky winners.

But I'll bet you all want to hear about the Harlot.

Well, first, I got to meet Kathleen from Quail Hill Knits. We met through our blogs (what else?) but this was our first meeting in person. She lives in Fresno, about 4 hours north of L.A., and I live in San Diego, about 2 hours south of L.A., so we sort of met in the middle to see the Harlot. Kathleen is even more fun and interesting in person than she is in her blog. She's so talented and accomplished that she would be really intimidating, if she weren't such a warm and lovely person.

We had a bit of a wait to get into the auditorium, but as you can see in the background, that was no hardship. There was so much knitting and spinning and general crafty brilliance going on that watching everyone work was completely entertaining in itself. We did eventually get seated (front row--can you believe it?), and the Harlot Herself came out--and took pictures with The Sock.


She was hilarious. You know how you can't read her books without laughing out loud? She's better in person. I laughed so hard for so long that my stomach muscles hurt for two days. And even though I couldn't think of anything more clever to say to her than, "Oh, I just love you so much!" (yes, I'm really that much of a dork--it's amazing I got anything out), she still made me laugh like a fool when she signed my book. See?

Kathleen was far smoother than I was. She not only conversed with intelligence, but brought the Harlot a gorgeous shawl pin that she had made herself. I wish I had had the forethought to get a picture of the pin. I did get pictures of Kathleen giving it to Stephanie, but alas, on Kathleen's camera. You'll just have to imagine it.

My Knitting Spot--And a Contest!

Recently, I've seen a few pictures on blogs of knitters in their natural environments. I always study these pictures with interest to see where people like to knit (sofa, chair, backyard), who's around them (pets, kids, spouse), what sort of supplies they have nearby (books, music, tea). I think we all have our favorite knitting places, in addition to all those places we knit because we're there, and we'd rather knit than not.

This is my knitting spot. See that little, squashed corner on the left with the knitting in it? That's my spot. With 200 pounds of lazy dog in the house, you learn to take what you can get. Although you can't see it in the picture, there is an ottoman for my feet, since I like to sit with my legs stretched out in front of me, and on the left side there is an oversized, antique trunk, topped with glass, that holds my books, magazines, knitting tools, mug, snacks, and project baskets. There is a lamp that casts light over my right shoulder, as I prefer. Here, look:

I love my knitting spot. I love it so much that it is also my reading spot, my tv watching spot, and my dining spot. It is my internet spot and my reading to kids spot and my talking on the phone spot. My husband calls it my "butt groove"--which is fair, I suppose, since there is a permanent indentation where I like to sit. I've been sitting here for more than seven years now, ever since we bought the family room furniture. This furniture has been through a lot: babies and puppies and illnesses and spills and crumbs and forts and jumping and napping and a whole lot of other things I won't mention. And it's held up really well. I deliberately bought good furniture at a time when that was a stretch, financially, because this is where we live, and I wanted it to be comfortable and durable and last a long time.

But my favorite spot has become a little ragged lately. There are threadbare spots, and stains I can't seem to get rid of, and the fringe has been snagged by puppy claws and teeth. It is bad enough that, last night, my husband insisted that I take care of it, or he will. "I don't care what it costs," he said. So, people, I took him at his word.

Today I went to a little upholstery shop that I happen to know makes slipcovers (because I've wanted to have slipcovers made for this furniture for a couple of years, but it's always been too expensive), and I ordered custom, fitted, machine-washable and -dryable slipcovers. Never fear--the existing covers zip off, except for on the body of the sofa, so there won't be ugly old fabric underneath. See the pretty fabric? (Am I the only one who didn't know how expensive upholstery fabric is?)


It is a cotton-blend, damask-like fabric in pale yellow, with a white leaf-and-vine woven pattern. The info tag says" "RATED HEAVY DUTY". I'm counting on it. I'm having it pre-washed and dried so that it will do all its shrinking before it becomes slipcovers for my favorite spot, and in the future, it will be easy for me to take off the covers and throw them in the washer and dryer. This is important when you share your furniture with dogs and kids.

I am really excited about my favorite spot makeover, so I decided to celebrate with a contest. Tell me about your favorite knitting spot in the comments, or--better yet--blog about your favorite spot and let me know in the comments that you've done so, and I'll enter you in a random drawing for one of these colorful sock yarns. Sorry, no handpainted lovelies here. They're strictly commercial, self-patterning yarns, but hey--they're free! I have a lot of them, and, truth be told, I just don't like knitting socks all that much. So in a week or so, I'll draw a name, or two, or three, and send them to the lucky winners.

Everyone clear? Okay, ready...set...go!

Denim Doodles

I had every intention of celebrating my old camera's new battery with some decent FO pics of Vino. Vino turned out great. The pictures did not. So I'll have to wait until daylight and try again. In the meantime, I'd like to share with you a different sort of FO.


This is my first (and probably last) attempt at embroidery. This was all about product, not process. I don't like to sew, by hand or machine. Actually, I don't like to sew by hand, and I don't sew by machine because I am terrified of that slashing needle. I am always convinced that it's going to grab the fabric and rip it out of my hands, or, worse yet, grab the fabric and suck my hands in with it. I know embroidery is not sewing, and I know you purists out there are spluttering with indignation, but it uses a little, pointy needle and thread, so as far as I'm concerned, it's still work. But I wanted a pair of embellished jeans, and since the thought of spending the month's grocery budget on jeans gave me pause, I decided I could figure it out for myself. That was...oh...maybe three months ago. I think I've finished three sweaters in the time I've been working on this simple little project.

I did start out trying to do actual, recognized stitches and following someone else's pattern. That was a total bust and accounts for the first two and a half months of the saga. Once I gave up on that idea and just made it up as I went, things went better. Well, faster, anyway.

I finished up the embroidery tonight, and then, with the encouragement and assistance of my two eager helpers (my sons), I got out this:


I think I may be the only person in North America who actually owns one of these. It was my husband's gag gift to me last Christmas. I love it. I've never used it before today, but I love it all the same. It's like a stapler for rhinestones. Between the three of us, we stapled the heck out of those jeans! (If you look closely, you can see little red rhinestones among the embroidery.) But, you ask, will I wear them? Oh, yeah. I'm a total sucker for this sort of thing. Also, I have no fashion sense.

And, since the theme of today's post is denim, I thought I'd share something else with you:


Yes, I really did take a picture of my own butt in the mirror (and how flattering it is, too!). But it's for a good cause, I assure you. This is in the nature of a public service announcement. As you can no doubt see in the picture, my lack of a "front porch" is more than made up for by my ample "back deck". My butt is at least a size larger than my waist. When I shop for jeans, they are either too tight in the seat, or too big in the waist, or, most often, both. Like most women, I am on a lifelong quest for a pair of jeans that fits. And friends, I have found one. Eddie Bauer has come out with a fit (called the "Shaped Fit") that is, in their words, "one size larger in the seat than in the waist." And you know what? They really are! I chose a size to fit my waist, and my rear just slid right in. There's no gapping at the waist, and while they're cut low enough to not look 10 years out of date, they're cut high enough that there's no risk of inadvertent butt cleavage, should I choose to sit in public. So if you have similar fit issues, I highly recommend giving these a try. They come in boot cut and straight leg options in a variety of washes and three different lengths. Definitely worth a look.

And now back to our regularly scheduled program.

Cable three front, Rip four back

Things that do not mix with casting on for a cabled sweater:

1. A seven-year-old who desperately wants to shop online for the exact Storm Trooper costume he saw in the store that had it in every size except his ("NO, Mom! The one with battle damage! And gloves. And the helmet that's closed in the back, not the one with the mask!").

2. A ten-year-old who is adamant--and vocal--in his unwillingness to accept that the weekend's schedule will not allow for a sleepover, the injustice of his friend not being home when he wants to ride bikes, and the fact that he has a little brother who is not going to be sent off to boarding school anytime soon.

3. A four-pound corned beef slowly coming to a boil in a giant pot of water on the stove. It turns out, when you have the burner on high, you have to actually pay attention to whether the water is approaching the boiling point. Or you can just wait for several gallons of greasy water to boil over onto the stove, the counter, the floor, the dog...

4. A visiting uncle who believes it is his mission in life to encourage rambunctious boys to chase, wrestle, tear apart the house, and generally do their best to ensure that mom does not get five consecutive seconds without someone screaming as though their legs have just been torn off.

5. A large, hairy, drooly dog who hasn't been walked in godknowshowlong who has decided to express her displeasure with the lack of attention by stealing stuffed animals off the kids' beds and racing through the house with various members of the family giving chase and hollering at the tops of their lungs.

6. A husband who is convinced that it is a great idea to cancel all four phones, the high speed computer line, and the cable tv to try out some shady deal the phone company is touting (the same phone company that just billed us nearly $400 for a single month of basic phone service because it can never get its act straight) and is determined to convince his loving wife that this is a good idea while she is counting the same 114 stitches for the eleventybazillionth time.

If I add up the total number of stitches I have cast on and knitted today, I am about halfway through this one.

Sneak Peek

My camera is still without battery. I did convince it to give me one more picture. This is a sneak peek of the finished Vino sweater coat:

More to follow.

Fiber Love

Somewhere in the dark recesses of my mind, I knew that buying a spinning wheel would lead to the need to buy fiber. Dog hair is all well and good, but, to coin a phrase, one cannot live by dog hair alone.

This arrived in the mail today:

I couldn't resist showing you a picture of the tiny lamb packed in the top of the box. (I apologize for the blurry photo. The battery in my backup camera, which I've been using since my primary camera stopped working in Jamaica, died as I was taking this picture, so this is all you get.) But this is what was in the box:

That is a pound and a half of natural (undyed) BFL in various shades. I have a plan for this fiber. I don't know whether it will work--or more precisely, whether my nascent spinning skills are up to the project I have in mind--but this fiber is intended for my very first handspun sweater. My plan is to spin singles with random color changes, then ply them to create an even more blended,multi-shaded two-ply yarn in about a worsted weight, which I will then knit into a lovely, natural-colored pullover of my own design. This is the plan. Reality is another matter.

Only Half Full

You know that old question that's supposed to reveal volumes about how you see the world, "Is the glass half empty or half full?" When I was asked this as a kid, I responded, "Only half full."

This is Icarus as of today.

I freely admit that it looks no different than it has for the past 7394 rows.

But this is the yarn for Icarus.

More specifically, this is the end of the first skein of yarn for Icarus. This means that, however it looks, I am halfway through! I am not the sort of knitter who allows projects to linger. I either finish it or frog it, usually within a few weeks. With the exception of the five-year baby blanket (an anomaly I choose to ignore) this is the longest-running knitting project of my life. I can "k2tog, yo, k1, yo, ssk" in my sleep. And that is the only interesting part of this otherwise entirely stockinette laceweight shawl. I am heartily sick of the whole thing. If it weren't for such an important event, I might be tempted to roll it in a ball and stuff it in the back of the yarn closet, never to see the light of day again. But the bridal shower is next month (gasp), so this needs to get finished. Soon. At this point, I'll take any encouraging sign I can get.

I'm (only) halfway done.

Fiber Follies

It's been a Murphy's Law sort of day for fiber around here.

I was finally forced to admit that the degree of pooling on the first sleeve of Vino was unacceptable. A little pooling doesn't bother me; it's the nature of hand-dyed yarn and part of its inherent charm. But big, noticeable blotches bug me. This is a big, noticeable blotch. Murphy: 1; Yarnhog: 0. So I pulled out the needle to frog...

or maybe I should say I pulled off the needle. The metal join of my beloved KnitPicks Options pulled right off the cable. This is a new one for me. I didn't pull all that hard--just enough to remove the needle from the knitting--and it fell apart. Murphy: 2; Yarnhog: 0.

It was time for a change. Since I had skeined and washed my Molly yarn, I decided to wind it into a ball and swatch.

Can you tell that things didn't go as planned? The yarn is simply too weak to hold together. Not enough twist, I suppose. I mentioned in my last post that I had trouble spinning this fiber because it was pretty short and wispy. I think an experienced spinner could make it work just fine, but as we know, that's not me. The whole mess went in the trash can. Murphy: 3;
Yarnhog: 0.

Rematch tomorrow.

Is it Yarn Yet?

What do you think? Is it yarn yet?

This is two ply wool. I don't really know the gauge, but I'd guess it's about a worsted weight. Once again, I won't actually use this for knitting, because it's too scratchy for my taste. It's just practice wool.

When I compare it to my last attempt at two ply...

I'm fairly pleased.

We can't all be Brooklyn Tweed. Sigh.