Monday, February 25, 2008

I'm Knitting As Fast As I Can

And in the case of Death By Cables, that's not very fast. It's not the knitting that's slowing me down, so much as following the charts and making sure I'm not knitting row two of chart one with row 12 of chart two (because that would be bad), and repeating chart one every two rows, chart two every 4 rows, chart three every 10 rows, and chart four every 46 rows, and now that I've hit "shape the shoulders by decreasing one stitch every other row 10 times and then one stitch every fourth row 31 times and at the same time shape the neck by decreasing on stitch at each neck edge every fourth row 13 times then decrease one stitch every other row 22 times", in addition to maintaining the four (yes, there are four, not three, as previously reported, and that doesn't include the reversing of three of the charts for the second half of each row) different charts and keeping my row count for the front the same as for the back, and, well, I did four rows during the Oscars. I need a spreadsheet. Except that I suck at Excel, and there is no way that could possibly lead to a better outcome, unless by "better outcome" we are talking about me sucking down vodka martinis and while simultaneously sobbing over my computer and swearing at my knitting.

Allow me to make clear, however, that this is not Kathy Zimmerman's fault. She is obviously a knitting genius of the highest order, and I can only bow down in reverence to the mind that is not only able to execute this sort of complexity without resorting to illicit drugs, but that actually conjured the damned...er, darned...thing out of thin air in the first place.

You know, of course, that if this thing doesn't fit when I'm done, there won't be enough chocolate in the world to make it better.

15 comments:

sophanne said...

I salute you and drink to you. Should there be any issues of fitting I believe that framing would be appropriate.

...Sarah said...

Do you mean to imply martinis don't make everything better? Darn it!

Quail Hill Knits said...

Death by Cables will be gorgeous wwhen it is complete. In the meantime, keep the martini shaker cose at hand. I am sorry you lost Molly. We lost our sweet "Tempest" last year and I still miss her. Can't wait to see the progress.

kmkat said...

I would say, "Persevere!" but perhaps that might be too much pressure. How about, "Hang in there!" and "Screw it!" if that seems necessary.

Enjoy the martinis ;-)

melissaknits said...

It will be so beautiful. So, um, if it's too big, you know, uh...I know someone who'd maybe, oh...wear it...

Linda said...

Your multiple chart situation is something I'm juggling with Na Craga. Or I would be juggling if I could cast on for the next piece.But since I forgot how I adapted a tubular cast on for 2X2 ribbing, I have made no progress whatsoever lately!

Olga said...

If you make it through this we shall have an award just for you, 'cuz I believe your the only woman in the USA who is knitting that, which was orginally put into IK as a joke as the impossable knit. Kathy is having a good laugh...

Kristin said...

Consider it as 'taking one for the team'. I absolutely love the pattern but am not likely to ever knit it. It's like you are knitting it for all of us.

Gingersnaps with Tea... said...

Well at least you have lots of people cheering you on (or watching you suffer from a safe distance take your pick). I am sure it will be lovely!

Senja said...

I'm just here cheering you on. Keep on working it will be worth it.

dale-harriet said...

As a not-yet-chart-reader, I can only say that I am in complete awe; I can barely *see* that chart, nevermind actually knitting it. I'm with Kristin - you're knitting it for those of us who can't, won't, couldn't wouldn't &c &c and so forth. Such a thing can only be worth the effort....

Steph B said...

Are you sure she didn't resort to illicit drugs? How do you know? I know I'd have to, to come up with something that complicated! You are a brave woman, to take on that project. And yeah, if it is too big, well...it's awfully cold here in Michigan right now. :-)

5elementknitr said...

Damn! And I thought the Bed Jacket pattern was a pain in the ass!

I bow to your bravery...

Romi said...

Cables always take me For. Ever. I love that color!

Mel said...

If you wanted some help with an Excel spreadsheet, I'd be happy to oblige. Just shoot me an email.